This will be our second swan-related posting. We apparently like swans.
Also, spoiler alert. Do not read if you haven't seen the movie yet but are planning to.
I, Lida, did not sleep last night. I, Lida, had a night of strug.
I, Chelsea, slept soundly. I, Chelsea, haz manly courage.
There is dancing. There is a lot of molestation (Chelsea thinks it wasn't molestation... she says "It happens all the time in the dance world!!!!!"). There is vivid lesbian sex. There are knees snapping backwards, nail files stabbed repeatedly into Winona Ryder's face, scary looking, over-involved stage moms with unnatural painting fetishes, and a way-too-skinny Natalie Portman. There are creepy red demon swan eyes and creepy red demon swan scratches. There are lots of mirrors with minds of their own. There is an old dude jacking off on the subway.
MIRRORS GONE CRAZY!!!
So NatPort is a ballerina having a mental breakdown. We don't really feel like doing a comprehensive summary, so just Google that shit. Or watch the trailer, in case you've been living under a rock and haven't stalked it.
Here's how I, Lida, can summarize the experience: when the film was over and the credits started, the theater was dead silent. No one stood up to leave, and as I scanned the audience I realized everyone was just in awe (or scared shitless). Then people slowly got up and almost silently filed out of the theater.
I, Chelsea, who haz manly courage, can summarize the experience as such: my hand was cramping because Lida was holding it too hard (and sweating, which I, Lida, dispute).
It was fab. Fabulous in the most-terrifying-thing-Lida's-ever-seen kind of way whereas Chelsea thought it was totes more thrilling than actually scary.
Chelsea: I was super excited to see this movie. I really wanted it to be another Center Stage, a dancer's go-to movie, but it was something completely different, and I liked it a lot more. The trailer made it out to look like a Hollywood-ized movie, but it was much more real. The way the camera moved as she walked down the sidewalk or through Lincoln Center, the bouncing in sync, made the movie a lot more and thrilling and kept me literally at the edge of my seat, waiting for something to pop out from the shadows. Plus the theater we saw it in was just creepy. I thought it was incredible how NatPort crammed 15+ years of ballet training into about one year. Though some of her movement wasn't entirely convincing (maybe I'm being too critical as a ballet dancer who has seen some incredible dancing), her effort and acting was truly commendable. The fact that she trimmed her body to portray lean calf muscles, dropped shoulders, and exposed clavicle was kick-ass. Props NatPort. It was an amazingly thrilling movie that paired the psychological difficulties of the world of classical ballet with entertaining movie drama. The only part that really freaked me out was when she pulled the hangnail. Grody.
Lida: ... I still can't really say anything. I really want to dislike it, because I am so traumatized by the movie (granted, I also hate horror/thriller movies), but I was fascinated. Vincent Cassel as the rapey ballet director was incredible and added some (relative) human stability to the otherwise mentally out of control characters -- a fabulous constant. Conversely, Barbara Hershey as NatPort's jealous and washed up ex-ballerina mom was truly evil: she simultaneously parodied, praised, and destroyed NatPort, all while looking mad scary. And kudos to Darren Aronofsky for making even the most mundane things, such as washing one's hands or walking down the street or taking a ballet class (no more dancing for me), a huge psychological fiasco. Hands down scariest moment: Winona Ryder stabbing herself repeatedly in the face with a nail file while screaming "I'M NOT PERFECT! I'M NOT PERFECT!"
Overall: We recommend seeing it. Lida thinks it's a one-time viewing experience, but Chelsea would see it again. Bring a friend, get ready to cover your eyes at parts (or throughout the whole movie, like Lida), and be prepared for lots of blood and goose(swan?) bumps.
Tryna see some clips (although they aren't the best ones): http://www.movieweb.com/news/NE8kjL75vgbzag
-Lida and Chelsea
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